Ricky, I am so fucking sorry. I’m sorry I worry you, I know this is the source to a lot of your problems; I’m sorry I’m ignorant and that I get in trouble, you don’t deserve that. I want to be better, I really do, but that would be so much easier if you were here. Thanks to me, as well as not seeing me, now I don’t even get to talk to you either. It’s hard but you said it’ll be worth it, and I really want to believe you but I fuck up so many things; I’m really sorry if you become one of those things, I never meant for you to be.