Posts tagged "my life"
These last couple days have been really, really good. The sun never lets up. It got to almost 25 degrees yesterday. I laid on the field during my spares; went swimming after school; participated in a writing show, the first time I’ve actually performed anything I’ve written, and boy was it scary; came back and threw a frisbee around for an hour while the sun went down then we came back to my house and sat in the gazebo and talked about everything.
To top everything off Ricky is coming down this weekend. I don’t know how it could get better than this.
I was once on the verge of insanity. I was slipping over the edge of the unknown, and I thought it was my lack of ignorance , but perhaps it was exactly that that brought me back. I can still feel my toes hanging over the edge. I’m holding my balance but it wouldn’t take a hard push to tip me over. It’s so easy once you’ve been there.
It’s another one of those dark, rainy days where I think I might put aside the overdue homework, sleep, make some coffee, read a book and not smile. This is the closest I’ve ever been to loneliness.
Leonardo da Vinci is changing my life.
I solemnly can’t even convey how motivated I am to learn right now. I’ve finished not even half a book on da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man, which explains the whole story leading up to how Leonardo actually got the idea.
It starts way back, before Christ even, with an architect named Vitruvius who studied the human anatomy and found all these divine qualities we posses. From this, manifested the notion that, not only are we physically and spiritually connected to God, but also that we are one with the cosmos.
We are the Earth in conscious form. Our bones, stone; our nails and hair, plants and trees; our blood, rivers and streams; our ability to produce heat, fire; and so on. God was not just a creator to them as it is to us today. God was the universe and all its mysterious endeavors.
All of this is displayed in the evolution and interpretations of the different ‘Vitruvian Men’ throughout time. I haven’t actually gotten to the part where da Vinvi comes across it, but I’ve been learning about his early life and how motivated he was to learn and invent. He is my biggest mentor. I’m so inspired right now.
The book is called Da Vinci’s Ghost, in case anyone is interested.
There is a great abundance of knives in the sink in my house, all of which are coated with a thick layer of peanut butter and jelly.
My family has such great taste.
That’s it. I’m not interested in human affairs. Astronaut would be nice, but I think National Geographic is a more realistic career choice for me. Writing, taking pictures and exploring the world.
How much more wealth could one human acquire?
Watching home videos with my family brings back so many emotions. I can remember very little from my childhood, but I still know it was amazing because of the friends I had, and these videos.
My dad went though a phase where he spent so much of his time converting our tapes to CD’s and I’m so thankful. I wonder what was going through his mind when he decided to do that.
It feels like everything before 2010 is a dream. I don’t feel like any of it was real. I hate that feeling.
My brain sometimes has a hard time comprehending some concepts, like respect, for example. I don’t understand why anyone deserves my respect just because they are of higher authority. It should be my decision whether or not to respect them. This being said, etiquette is another concept I just can’t get through my brain.
Manners are purely cultural; for example, in most places in North America it is considered rude to eat with your hands, or bring up certain topics at the dinner table. We are conditioned to say thank you when we are not necessarily grateful and smile when we are not necessarily happy. If I had a child and I told him that, every morning when he woke up, before he did anything else, he would have to run five laps around the house, for none other reason than ‘it’s what we do here. It’s polite.’ This child might question the chore, but if everyone else was doing it he would most likely except it. It would become part of his culture and he would teach his kids the same way.
Ergo, what the actual fuck do we even have manners for? They’re unnatural and unnecessary. I don’t need more rules to follow.
If anyone would like to retaliate you are more than welcome.
I take great solace in solitude. It’s almost a sin to write about it, because that defeats the entire purpose of seclusion. That means someone, somewhere can read these words at some point in time and I wouldn’t be alone anymore. I can be anything I want when I’m alone-not that I would be anything else, but knowing that I have that option gives me considerable contentment; I don’t have to be anything.