it’s weird when you’re crying at a family event and you lock yourself in the bathroom because you just can’t hold in in anymore, and suddenly all your problems become public and you have people knocking, trying to ask if you’re okay, but you don’t really want to say anything in fear that your voice might not sound the way you want it to… it’s those moments that are really the lowest points in life.
Posts tagged "my life"
So my family gave me a chocolate that they put a whole clove of garlic in and me, being high as fuck, ate it and didn’t even notice. I now have garlic dragon breath and I’m going to throw up.
The best moment of my life,
and I choose to share it with you.
My dad told me that I was right. I was debating the technicalities of the terms ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ with my mom, and my dad said I was right. Not just that he agreed, but that I was right. He knows how ignorant my mom is, and he said I was right.
And when she left he said ‘Don’t worry. You’re just on a higher thinking level. Don’t let it piss you off.’
And then I cried for a long time because I forgot how fucking good it feels to be supported by someone.
So I asked my chemistry teacher what the space is between the electrons and the nucleus of an atom, and how this came to mind, (it’s just empty space, by the way. Just a vacuum that has the possibility to have an electron exist there) I told him I was on the internet.
He was all ‘were you on wikipedia?’
and I was all ‘yeah…’
and he was all ‘wikipedia is so great-‘
and I was all ‘because it gives you related topics to check out?!’
and he’s all ‘yeah!’
and I’m all ‘yeah!’
and he’s all ‘and then you have like 100 tabs open-‘
and I’m all ‘yeah! And you can spend hours reading that shit!’
and he’s all ‘and then sometimes you circle right back around and get your original topic.’
and we’re both all ‘yeah!’
It was a good bonding moment that was unfortunately ruined by the rest of the class.
I need to start writing more. As soon as I stop writing I lose touch with all these parts of me that stay dormant until there’s a pen in my hand. I get bottled up without even realizing it.
Inspiration, welcome.
Day 65/365
Day 64 was stupid.
One random fact about yourself.
I’ve never been lonely
My left hip bone is a good inch higher than my right.
I used to have rainbow colours in my hair.
I need 12 hours of sleep to actually feel rested.
I dream a fuck ton.
I lost my virginity in a one night stand only it was like a double night stand because I fucked him twice.
My raccoon family.
There’s a raccoon on the back porch eating the dog food while my dog is sleeping right next to it. Thank god she’s old and can’t hear it, I just want that raccoon to be happy.
There’s something so familiar about seeing raccoons on your back porch. I remember at my grandparents old house, they owned 5 acres of mostly forest and they would ‘feed the critters,’ as my grandma would say. When we slept over, every morning we would go out in the cold in our pajamas and the crows would be in the trees waiting and squawking and the squirrels would be in the bushes anticipating. We would throw dog food on the grass for the crows and put trail mix and dried up corn in the squirrel boxes. It was the best part of the day.
She also had a bowl of dog food out for the raccoons and, if we were lucky and quiet enough, we would get to see them when they came around. One time, a whole family stopped by. There was a mother and 5 little babies and they were so fucking cute. We crawled up to the glass door to peer out at something I had never seen, and they weren’t even scared. We were a mere 6 inches away but they just kept washing their paws in the water bowl and munching on the dog food.
One of them actually came right up to the glass and put his little paws on the glass in front of my face, we were both so curious.
Fuck that just feels like home.
Everything is so fucked up.
I’m living a book written by J. D. Salinger. Not so much last year, but this school year has been so utterly cliche I feel like I’m literally living out the perks of being a wallflower.
This is the first year I’ve cried in front of anybody. This is the first year I’ve owned a car. This is the first year I’ve really had to study. This is the first year I’ve broken someone’s heart.
I’m already looking back at my high school years like I’m 30. I don’t want to forget all this.
Well Tumblrites, I got back from Maui yesterday and I’m heading off to Whistler in the morning, so it will be another 5 days without my lovely posts.
Not that any of you children cared.
